a trip through recent thoughts

I've decided 17 years of age makes you an idiot. Don't worry I'm about to expound, just have to gather my thoughts in a way as to not offend people. just I have so many friends that are just being well idiots sorry i gave up on not offending people if you are then this blog is not for you click the next button now. Just how is it that a few months ago they all made sense they were in essence themselves. but now for several of them it's complete 180's like how can you knowingly make a choice you yourself know is bad and retarded for you to do and then still make it?! Don't get me wrong I've done it too but i've been talked out of alot more than i've actually acted upon. maybe i'm just too analytical and think things through to logically but i feel like they aren't thinking at all like they don't think ahead and it's just can you not see where you're going cause i'ts not that hard to see. I guess with most of them i'm not that frustrated but with like two or three it's the same idiotic choice over and over again! like they've been in the same situation and they know what happens when they make said stupid choice yet do it again! they do the same thing and expect different results which is infact insanity! but they don't seem to be driven insane by it only i am, maybe they're already insane and i'm just going down the path from sanity to insanity and that's why it bothers me so much? anyways i'm done ranting if any of you guys read this i love you all i just am confused but most of you know that already.

now happier news? I think yes. So for those that don't know much about me I am so indecisive and especially with one area of life and that's what i want to do with my life, Daily i find something new i want to do for a career i hate that in life you can really only do one career in depth. but here is probably my top ten career choices probably listed from most ridiculous to more realistic but we'll see it might just be random,

1. Rally car driver (yeah so what if i'm american it could happen)
2. stunt man/stunt driver
3. actor/celebrity goofball
4.president but the weirdest president we've ever had, world peace would be reached
5.bum (don't worry i'll explain more in depth after the list)
6. musician (i will also explain)
7. gay jobs such as interior design, stylist (ditto to previous parentheses)
8. professor/high school teacher
9.  psychologist/therapist
10. doctor/ surgeon (9, 10 are what i seriously plan on but the others sound more fun but yeah those are tied i'm not sure which i'd rather be)
11. photographer ( sorry couldn't cut it down to ten)

Ok so explanations so being a bum while it's more of a lifestyle not a career is at least to me rather glamorous, think about it you go wherever you want whenever the only time you have to stop is to bum some money or just go to home depot and pick up some odd jobs for people that way it's more predictable income and well legal. but yeah it'd be so fun to just travel no responsibility just doing what you want and not having a bunch of "things" to carry around and be attached to. musician well one i love music and two a musician is really a fancy word for bum who travels the world cause well they don't actually do much but they get paid may not be well always but still. ok gay jobs lets put it this way i'm you're gay straight friend, the guy that will go shopping with you tell you what looks good and is stylish and such but will still date you and kiss you, i just enjoy interior design cause well i'm picky about how things especially houses look, now stylist this is actually new, today in fact. but while getting my hair cut i realized how much fun it would be well not to do guys hair that would be boring.... but to do girls hair would be sooo fun, something you should know i love playing with hair so being paid for it would be fun, but more so like making a woman feel gorgeous about herself would just feel so good and doing that everyday? yeah awesome right? just seeing how excited this woman in there got with the person cutting her hair i got all excited and that'd be so fun to take part in but yeah anyways gay moment check! (to maren who i'm sure is going to read this sometime sorry i forgot to tell you about the stylist thing i kinda forgot about it until i started writing this but yeah i'm sure you'll appreciate this haha)

anyways thank you for reading my friends or the lack there of
-sincerely a straight gay man

Somethings suck

So basically sometimes in life you never expect things to happen but they do, good or bad. Sometimes its unclear which something is, it's often the hardest when a situation is like that. Sometimes holdin on to what you want is the worst thing you can do. I think I have been doing that lately when maybe I should just back off and leave it alone, thats what most people seem to think anyways they always have. I am trying it finally but it's hard and i don't know if it's right but I guess we'll see. I am sorry I never wanted this to be how things are but it seems to e what everyone wants.

Excavation of my mouth and the littlest things

So today I got my wisdom teeth out the doctor wanted sone pearly whites and well he struck pay gums. The place was called utah surgical arts so i'd like to believe that my teeth are now a part of some abstract modern art sculpture making a statement about sooety no one understands. Or maybe just part of the eiffel tower or the leaning tower of pisa thatll do doc thatll do It was pretty great loved the going under feels so relaxing, tue surgery itself went well. Well I assume it went well cause I have four lovely holes in this mouth of mine. But in all reality I suppose I dont know that it went well. Anyways I woke up and was good to go but they made me ride in a wheelchair which bugged me cause I hate riding in one when I can walk just fine. I can feel my face again which is great took some loratab and I'm feeling great but it's not really that, that made me feel so good it's just well the little things....

It's amazing to me te healing power a friend can have, just coming to visit you bringing with them a smile that melts your heart, just resting her head on your shoulder, holding your hand with her tiny little hands thT are just te best. I felt so much better after that visit nothing big happened but the greatest things are truly just te little things holding hands, a tight hug and getting a kiss on the cheek :) thank you for all the little things I'm on top of the world!


Thanks for listening my readers or the lack thereof have a great night love you all