Girls

         Well this idea has been around but i'm stealing it now cause i think it's kind of a fun post and i haven't had one of those in awhile so here it goes pretend letters to real girls in my life. or at least sort of in my life

Dear, sweetheart

We have been through so much together and I've loved every second of it.

I can't believe I'm leaving and won't see you for two years.

oh well it'll be worth it and hopefully we can have more adventures in two years.

thanks for everything always being there, the endless support, and the love you offer me.

Love, Braden.

Dear, surrogate sister

Even though you're suuuuuper old and it's almost your birthday again, I love hanging out with you.

you've really helped me by being such a strong example. 

you better write me personally and not just piggy back on your sisters letters....

you're awesome and wait for me to get home before you marry your boy so I can be there.

I'm serious about that, Braden.

Dear, ex

I'm really sorry about how life is right now,

I'm sorry it's not going the way you want and you feel stuck.

I truly hope it gets better 

wishing you luck,

Braden.

Dear, Zooey Deschanel clone

We made eye contact and waved at each other awkwardly at walmart late last night.

I can only take this as "lets raise awkward little indie hipster babies together in a cool loft apartment"

yes that is definitely what that meant.

awkwardly, your future husband

Dear, old friend

I'm glad we can talk and be close friends,

however I'm confused about what you want though.

I think we want different things out of this relationship.

Friends forever, Braden

Dear, instagram stalker

I don't know who you are but you really creep me out. 

You don't even follow me!

Please note I've blocked you and reported your creepy comments

(which were hastily removed)

creeped out, Braden

P.S. I wouldn't be surprised if you had somehow found my personal blog and were actually reading this  o.O

curiosity really does kill the cat

So i have no idea why i am this way but i always have been for as long as i can remember but i can't seem to stop doing it. I'll get either a question or something like that stuck in my head and i just have to know the answer. with some aspects in life it's really helped. i know more about sharks, and planets, and the mayan calendar than i would ever need to know because i had those questions in my mind and just pushed and pushed for the answer. it's helped and hurt religiously i've been confused about something and just search for answers sometimes too hastily and have hindered progression. in relationships i've pushed people away because i just have to know something and it sucks because i try not to dwell on things but i know i do and yeah. I just wish i could turn this part of me off but i've never been able to and  i don't really even know what it is but it always bugs me. even when it's helpful it bugs me, if i'm at dinner or a movie or something and something comes up that i don't know what it is or how it applies i have to look it up and i have to learn about it. having a smart phone has made this worse because now as soon as something comes up i can just pull it out and look it up. even if i try not too it drives me crazy knowing i have the answers to my questions in my pocket. Lately though it's been especially bad i don't know why though but its really getting to me :( i don't know that i've ever told anyone about this. maybe i have and have just forgottten but i needed to get it out because it's just really bugging me. i don't know if its gotten worse because there is a huge change coming in my life or what but its just bleh.

some examples just from today. I had to learn more about the isolationist theory because it came up on a documentary, i had to learn more about the ancient astronaut theory, i had to learn how they make tea bags and what it means when they say naturally oxidized, and of course i had to read over 15 articles about the debates last night which lead to reading about what the definition of what a small business is. i bugged my friend about something i knew she'd tell me later, and i had to learn about all the specs of the ipad mini and its competitors. (i don't even care about taplets!!!!) is this some form of ocd?!

Less than a month

Well I just got home from California and it was awesome! Six flags probably one of the coolest places ever I wish I could have had more time there! I can't decide on a favorite rollercoaster cause they were all soo cool. I really liked x2 because of the strange and unique riding style, tatsu was so cool because you lay down superman style on the ride and do corkscrews and loops and you really feel like you're flying! Riddler's revenge was awesome standing on a rollercoaster is so strange but it's a neat experience the g forces just feel so much different. I could ride rollercoasters all day! We went to Newport beach which i just love! Did some boogie boarding with the cousins and just enjoyed the sunset that night beach sunsets=best sunsets. Of course Disneyland was great it always is.

Anyway on the vacation there was the one month mark for leavin on my mission to Mexico city. And it just really hit home how close it is. I just got thinking about everything from not living with anyone I know to talking about the gospel 24/7 for two years! It's just so many new things all at once, I'll be speaking a new language, live in a new country with only my companion, eat weird food, wear dress clothes all the time, have little contact with anyone I truly know. It's a lot to get used to in such a short time. I'm so excited for it though cause I really need the experience it'll help me grow do much and I'm so grateful for the opportunity. It's weird to think my life will be on hold for two years but everyone else continues. So much will change for everyone I love and care about but like I won't be there to experience it with them it's really a strange idea. I'm gonna miss my family so much! My mom and dad who are just there always but now they won't be just weird to think about even of I am rather independent already it's just strange that the one true constant in your life is gone too. I'll miss Braxton a lot that silly boy is going to grow so much and I won't hear his silly giggle or voice for awhile. Brock because I won't be able to make the same dumb inside jokes and meme/Internet jokes with him and laugh about it. Brianna because Of her attention to detail and strict observation of rules which keeps me inline when I might otherwise not be, as well as her friendly personality where no one is a stranger and everyone is her friend. I'm goin to miss Maren so much obviously. I've shared so much of my life as everything with her for the last year and a half ish. We've had so many adventures and I just love her so much. She helps me with everything and is always there for me. I'm going to miss goin on the most random crazy spontanious adventures with her. I hope they can continue when I get home. Camille because I've grown so close to her. For a long time I kinda felt like she disliked me. But now she's someone I can count on to just share jokes with and have a good time with. She's also just a great example to me. Jared just because he's like my only close guy friend and while we may not always bring out the best in each other we are always brothers and that's just something that lasts. I'm going to miss everyone so much but it'll be so worth it and hopefully they won't have all forgotten about me haja

I just don't know

I I just don't know and that's the worst. My mission is so close and I know it's the right thing to do but everything is getting so hard and I feel really alone lately. I know it's the adversary trying to discourage me and I won't let it work but man it's hard

Even at my worst I'm best with you

So despite being stressed out and feeling slightly paranoid about things that i shouldn't be since i know theyre actually really good right now. I'm really happy tonight. i put in my two weeks and am so ready to be done work is just killing me lately and i can't handle it at all. I just am so happy that that is done and thats all i really wanted to say oh wait one more thing this song has been on my mind just cause it's been helping me get through the days cause it makes me think of someone special that i just love with all my heart

good

I think the biggest thing the human species wonders is, what have i accomplished, have i changed the world, and have i done anything truly good. i guess lately i've really been thinking about these and i guess my accomplishments aren't anything out of the ordinary but i'm not really that old so there are alot more to come i hope. I havent really changed the world though i'd like to. But i figure i've still got a lot of time to do that. The one that is really bugging me is have i done anything good.

Now i try to be the best person i can and nice to everyone and i genuinely want to help as many people as i possibly can. but i feel like i really am not very good at it. i feel like i don't help people and people don't want to talk to me and i'm trying but it doesn't really matter. I guess lately i've just been feeling really down and it's effecting everything. I feel like i should continue with these goals but at the same time im worried i'm just hurting everyone i try to help so i feel like i should give up alot. i don't know i just want to help i just don't know how to.

Norms

I've really just been thinking a lot lately about the social, and cultural Norms that we follow and that I follow specifically. The two I really mean are that guys don't talk about how they feel and that guys don't cry. The first one i don't follow as closely cause I think it's silly but I do have a hard time with it on occasions I really have  to be feeling internally pressured. But the second I follow religiously there is just so much societal pressure that men do not cry. However lately I don't know that this is a good thing for us to do. The last few days I've just been havin a hard time and I'll get really close to crying but then I just have to push it down and move on. I've always been told its such a great and healthy release and it really make you feel better. I don't think I've ever had a really good cry cause I never feel better after but that's probably cause i don't let it escape. But tonight I've just been so curious and think maybe I should just try it but whenever I get close I stop myself I dont know I guess we'll see what happens

ska

Ska, if you don't know what it is i feel bad for you. You should also probably do something about it. What i love about ska is that unlike most genres it's super honest. It straight up just says life is hard things suck most things are out to get you and not many people are here to help you out in anyway. But then it's just like but it doesn't really matter because you can still be happy, the brass section pumps and you just know that yeah everything sucks but you can still go out and have a great time. No matter what is going on in your life there is a ska song that relates to it and can just help you through it. anyway random short post heres a song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ndNjrD90a0

silliness

so i've been in a silly mood today especially this last little bit. i've just been hyper but there isn't anyone around to be hyper with so i'm just kinda internally hyper. It's a huge contrast to how i was feeling in my last post but it's a welcome change. i've been going through some old photos and found one i love i'm not even sure why it just makes me laugh when i see it so i decided to edit it and just make it a little bit better :) I took this when i was out playing with my little bro and he just kept flashing the world and i just think this photo is so like me if that makes sense. Like it's just weird and silly and that's just how i feel most of the time. I really like the composition of this photo as well just interesting. Anyway sorry i don't really have anything worth reading about but enjoy look at an outie bellybutton laugh and smile

Mental something or other

So the past few days have been really rough. I honestly don't even know what's wrong which is making it worse cause it's frustrating me that i don't even know why i'm feeling down. I one idea but i don't feel like this one aspect could get me feeling so low. but this is my idea i've started working full time at my job and i'm opening the store and during those hours i'm completely alone for 6-7 hours depending on the day. I really don't like being alone almost ever like i just enjoy being around people so being alone for that long everyday of the week is super hard but i don't feel like this is enough to have me so bleh. and everything else in life is going so well so i don't understand why i feel down, it just doesn't really make a lot of sense. But it's really effecting me like eating is a chore. Today all i've been able to eat was a sandwich from jimmy johns and by eat i mean i forced myself to finish it because i know i needed the calories. It took me 40 minutes to finish it and i hadn't had anything else before that. Tomorrow i plan on fasting and just being really focused in all my religious meetings because i know that if i'm open to the spirit i'll receive help. As well i'll just have to keep reading my scriptures and praying. Maybe i just need a day out in nature taking pictures and wandering just to help clear my mind. Thats another big thing is that i can't stay focused my mind is mess and just everything is zipping around and jumbled. Like look at your plate of spaghetti noodles and that's how my thoughts feel, probably why i can't pin point what is getting to me. Just writing this post is hard cause i can't seem to think much past the word i'm typing at the moment. anyway sorry to whine just trying to get my thoughts clear in my head

this is the best way to describe it just kinda bleh inside

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I almost forgot it's my bestest best friend's birthday today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAREN!
I LOVE YOU

woohoo

Well i've been promoted to manager at coldstone which is great i feel really accomplished and just good about myself. it feels a bit weird and kinda scary but i'm excited :) i was sustained in my ward as well as a few others yesterday so my papers will finally be in pretty soon i'm super excited for that. Everything seems to be pretty great :) however i feel funny lately like just not as happy as i feel like i should. idk just all this great stuff i feel like i should be ecstatic but i'm kinda just eh even sorta down lately i don't know maybe just realizing like how real everything is becoming anyway that's the news for tonight

Goblin Valley

So on monday i went to goblin valley with some co-workers. at first i was kinda like welllll it's something to do but its goblin valley so really how fun can it be? i've never really loved goblin valley since honestly there isn't a ton to do there. So on the way down i tried to convince the guy that organized it that we should go to arches instead. I almost pulled it off but in the end we went to goblin valley. So i decided what the heck might as well enjoy the adventure. We started out by looking for this cave to do silhouette pictures and well long story short we didn't find it instead we ended up on the top of a plateau which had an incredible view! plus it was an epic hike up. so this first picture is a panoramic with mr. watabe in it and that is the view we had plus the other two it was just amazing.

next we had to get down which me and andy had a fun time with because we are comfortable climbers but the girls had a hard time in fact i thought they might kill us. so when we finally got down we decided to head back to the car for lunch. but then we found a deep cave so of course we had to explore. We crawled it and could see light coming from somewhere but there was a dark stretch so we turned on my iphone light and pushed forward and found a huge empty hollow with a hole in the ceiling which the light was coming from. we called this our club house and started talking and carving our names into the secret walls. we stayed here for probably an hour glad to be out of the heat then carried on back to the car for lunch. after lunch it was back out to explore and we finally found the cave for silhouettes :D sadly my camera died so no pictures of that but it was fun. 

Next we decided to look for more caves or cool canyons. however it was sooo hot so we found a shady canyon and then we all fell asleep for about an hour. once we all woke up fresh it was time to continue and we found an excellent huge canyon with many forks to explore! the girls waited back while me and andy climbed up to see if it was as good as it looked. as we entered we noticed two pairs of shoes.... strange but continued then we saw the four feet they belonged to, on top of each other... rocking gently back and forth.... yeah we just walked in on people having what appeared to be outdoor sex or hardcore make out session. so we turned around and came out with funny looks on our faces when the girls saw us they asked what on earth happened and we told them and for the rest of the day that was our joke. we hiked around for another hour then started our trip back home. 

this is were things got bad we had not been driving with fuel economy in mind... by that i mean we were driving 90-100 in a mini van and we soon had our "hey idiots you're out of gas" light come on. suddenly we realized how far it was to Price still. so we prayed that we'd make it the last 30 miles of up hill on our fumes. at fifteen miles we could tell it would be close as the gas light started beeping at us. we got into town and the car died... luckily we could coast right into the gas station. I took this as a sign from God saying I helped you out this time but don't be so retarded in the future. we decided to just get dinner at the subway by the gas station and it was surprisingly good despite the ladies making it being angry old betty's. 

Anyway i had a great time and decided goblin valley is awesome when you go with older people and can explore more extreme places in it :) next time i'll go with just guys so we can really get into it. but the girls we were with did amazing despite andy and I not picking the easiest stuff to do. 

rant

probably just ignore this, just really kinda ranting to myself to get it out.

So basically my bishop is the most ridiculous man on the planet! yesterday he told me everything was great and we would be interviewing/ordaining me to an elder soon. I texted him today to find out if i needed to be doing anything to speed the process along and he sent me a text saying well he has some concerns as well as the stake president. This confused me if he had concerns why didn't he bring them up when i was with him? secondly we have a brand new stake president how could he have concerns he has no idea who i am? so i asked my bishop what concerns they had to which i got no reply so i decided to send another text this time telling him how i have actually felt through the whole process which is just aattacked and judged every step of the way. to which he replied brayden (notice he can't even spell my name right after 4 years..... yeah i feel like you care about me) its not concerns about your mission don't worry i'm excited for that we just want some things set in place. So i replied well then perhaps concerns is an inaccurate word and should not have been used. and you didn't answer my question but what does he want set in place? again he ignored the question and said we just needed to meet. now completely frustrated i told my mom about it and she called him, he told her the concerns were about my attendance. (not sure why he couldn't tell me that.) But this is the most ridiculous excuse because i'm basically a single father in that i get myself and my three siblings ready and to church yes i am late alot but getting three kids up and ready alone is hard and from 16-18 most guys wouldn't go period but i at least try. the concerns were that i was late this week, missed last week i was at a farewell and i told him that, and the week before i was puking my guts out which i also told him so i can't see why i'm in trouble. we brought this up and basically proved how flawed his logic is. the next text i received was i (bishop) have permission to interview you for elder, (well no duh there shouldn't have been a question in the first place you just hate my family and dislike me because you are one of the most over zealous and judgmental men i've ever met in my life) so he said i'm only free wednesday at 8... well ok fine i'll call off work cause it's that important to me, even though i need the money for my mission whatever. then he tells me i also need to go to the meeting with my mother on thursday at 8...... ok fine 11 hours of work thrown out the window to jump through your ridiculous and unnecessary hoops. then he informs me he wants to see me on sunday as well!!! i told him i would be gone this sunday in Brigham city for another farewell, but i told him "ok i will skip out on this very important farewell that i already told you i would be gone for just to come to this meeting" to which he said great is 7 ok? WTF?! you're really going to make me miss that? so now i'm not spending time with my family which i hardly ever get to do because i'm never home and my parents are rarely home as well. so i just replied to him "peachy" still no apology when you can clearly tell how irritated i am but whatever.

anyway if you made it to this point you need something happy probably so how about some kittens or something?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

precious!!! :D

Fortune cookie

You know sometimes the best advice in life comes from a cookie. Especially when te cookie tells you to listen to the advice that comes from your heart. I really like that cause it's true when you follow your heart you typically feel a lot happier :)

"Happy is a heart that still feels pain"

So this song is not my most favorite from this artist in fact it's one of my least favorite, however it has one of my most favorite lines or verse I suppose. This line is the title of this post "Happy is the heart that still feels pain. Darkness drains and light will come again. Open up your heart and let it in, just let the love, love, love begin (come in)" Many people see the happy is the heart that still feels pain line and think of the morbidness that it could imply. However this line to me is much more poetic and romantic. 

Today i had a prime example of how this line is so powerful, My close friend told me some stuff that hurt a lot, while it hurts if you look at it with the guidance of this line it can be a beautiful thing instead of an ugly one. I'll finally explain what I mean, when you get bad news and you feel it in your heart, it means you're still trying your still going strong! While getting bad news hurts it shows you that you still care and you aren't giving up yet so truly you are happy and you're just going through a dark time and you can recognize that. 

That brings us to the next line darkness drains and light will come again. pretty self-explanitory so i'm not going to talk about it. the last line is strategically placed at the end even though it is the instructions for the first two lines. If you cannot open your heart to love/forgiveness/support then you just feel pain and the darkness stays. But when you let the love/forgiveness/support come into your heart you recognize the pain you feel is just a reminder of how much you care, if your heart doesn't feel pain obviously the feeling is gone and you aren't happy. when you see this then it is possible to see the light creeping back in even if it's slowly it comes back. 

I truly believe happy is the heart that still feels pain because it is how you really feel your trust is still there, your love, everything that is good. if the pain is gone you've become cynical, dead, and cold to the things that will make you the happiest. 

I hope this post makes sense, in my mind i can see how this line is so beautiful but i don't know that i have the language skill to express my logic. hopefully i have and this post can help anyone that finds it. sorry for being so sedimental in these last few posts i'm just in that kind of a mood right now. anyway off to bed.

The end

Today was my last day of high school ever, it was so strange and I just got to thinking about people and time and relationships. As usual it was just yearbook signing and I've never been huge on it because usually I don't even know half the people that end up signing it anyway. This year I just kind of chilled in the library and talked with two of my not really friends but more close aquaintences. It's strange how just talking to people you barely know makes you realize how short high school is, I met these two my freshman year and have countless stories with them but I can't tell you their favorite colors or food. Just weird how we can be so connected through common things and talk for hours but not know each other. After that I went to the main office to talk with Kim our main secretary, in there was a girl I used to date and once thought of marrying. But I talked to her and thought it strange I know everything about this girl and we used to be so close and when she's in a good mood it still feels that way just not in a romantic way. But I just thought how weird it is that the person I know everything about I already know we won't keep in touch after tomorrow because really we've only stayed in contact through classes. Just weird how casual and surface level relationships seem fresh and Alive yet past relationships that had so much meaning feel gone. I don't think it's a bad thing as I'm very happy with where I am in my life and the people in it just it's an interesting thing to ponder. Then as I was sitting outside the library to get away from the hoards of people a girl I met in 7th grade came up to me and sat down. She asked to exchange yearbooks and I agree. At this point I was already thinking about how strange relationships are and I kind of wrote that in her book. I know for a fact this girl doesn't remember who I am she thinks we met last year which is funny because in 7th grade we were basically connected at the hip because neither of us had many friends that is until people found out who her family was then she was much too popular for me. But in her book I wrote about our 7th grade days and laughed about how easily we had grown apart and that now we'd probably never talk again since we never talk as it is. After that I found two more very old friends turned into awkward hellos throughout the years. One of them was my best friend through elementary school we did everything together. One summer we lit a rail on fire to grind it and ended up blowing up the side of a mountain. Along with countless sleep overs late might video game marathons and various other shananogans. Then as we got older he progressed more heavily into the skating world and I took up a more academic life style and we drifted apart. My sophomore year we found ourselves together again because of our common interest in art but by this point we were very different people and the connection was no longer there inside jokes had lost their spark and our adventure were now memories. I still say hello and talk to him on occasion but it is awkward. The other friend was a girl probably my very first crush. Her my uncle and I hung out everyday from the crib until about second grade then of course we couldn't be friends with girls that is weird right? Anyway by sixth grade we talked and stuff but that was it. At the start of high school the three of us stood together at te bus stop my uncle distanced himself so I was left to just talk with her and I tried and failed it was sooo awkward which is strange cause I can talk to anyone typically and it's not that bad, for crying outloud I talk to this girls mother and it's easy even still. But whenever I see this girl in the hall we say hello and stand there an I feel like we're both trying to say something but don't. I don't know why but I have no idea what to say to her and I don't know why I feel like I have to, but I alway feel so awkward like we both expect a flowing conversation but it never comes. And before you think its because we like each other or something like that it's really not. Her mother and I talked about this once not very long ago and we agreed that it would always be a brother and sister type thing since we'd grown up together. Perhaps that's why we feel like we should have flowing conversation because we've grown up so close always a block away an always in each others lives even if we never talked. We jut feel like we should be able to since we've been so connected but in reality we are miles apart and that's why we just awkwardly say hello and then stumble on about how vital it is we get to class on time and can't chat. Then finally I was just thinkin about the relationship I hold so closely to my heart right now. so this girl I don't know how to explain it but like there is jut this magnatizing pull I have to her. I just don't want to leave her side ever. I love everything about her even when I get jealous of all the boys and dates she gets asked to. The way she looks at me when we talk just make me feel so good and like she's listening and truly cares. She makes me want to be a better person I hangout with her and I feel so lucky to have recieved this relationship that I need to improve myself to keep it because she I that precious to me. Since we started whatver we are my scripture study, personal prayers, and church attendance have gone up drastically and my testimony has been deeply strengthened. She may not see how hard I'm trying to be better but I think she knows I love her. I would do most anything for her just because I want to be there and be helpful an return all the things she's helped me with but I don't know if j can but I will try. I just realized of all my relationships in life this one feels different an very special and precious. She feels closest to what I feel for my family though it Is very different still. I just don't know how to describe it except that I want that feeling to stay, even if our relationship changes to a nonromantic type I still want her to be in my life. I just realized how all precious relationships I talked about Im really fine with them ending and fading away but this one I don't want to leave. No matter what that means I want to be a part of her life and her a part of mine even if it meant I was that weird guy her kids called uncle Braden even though I wasn't their uncle. Any just keep in mind your relationships especially the important ones they are what make you who you are.

life or something to that effect

Alright so I don't know what to write but I'm sitting here doing nothing waiting for laundry, so I might as well write a blog post right? Ok so I just got home from work and i realized i don't have clean close for tomorrow so that's why I am doing that this late. I feel like all I ever do now is work or school and I'm losing touch with myself. This week we had a lesson in church about the importance of keeping a journal and i realized that would really help me so much just because it doesn't have to be huge long epics, or narratives. It can just be something to quickly take an introspective look at myself and let it all out. For now I think my blog will serve that purpose but i would like to start keeping a real journal soon and as i am graduating on thursday (awww life is crazy fast) I feel i will have more time to do so or at least its one of my goals.

Work tonight was surprisingly good, typically tuesdays are one of the worst days to work because it is DEAD. Tuesdays are the shot, drowned, and eaten by a shark kind of dead, there is literally no coming back. However tonight we had a nice amount of people I have no idea why but I'm grateful for it. Not only did we have an acceptable amount of patrons but they were generous too! I left with 7.50 in tips which is almost a weekend and a nice change from praying to get at least a dollar by the end of a tuesday. Also I built my cake for graduation which is one of my favorite things to do i love building cakes no idea why but I do. But my favorite is making sundaes because that is when you can be truly artistic at work (ok not really you don't have a lot of freedom but you can at least make it look really pretty and photo worthy) and I got to make two of them tonight! after handing one of them to the customer and apologizing because it didn't meet my high standards of how it should look, he gave me a puzzled look and said "damn boy i was saying you should be an artist! it looks incredible." I know he was probably saying that just to be nice but i'll take it sense I really do think i want to be an artist specifically a photographer which brings me to my next topic.

I finished up my portfolio for my commercial photography class and i feel like it's ok but i really want to make it better and get a Digital portfolio made since that is more practical is this modern technological world even if it's not as artistic. But I'd like to share with you one of my recent hybrid photos that i am very proud of. Now i realize hybrid photo sounds weird so i will explain. This photo is a scanned negative that i took and edited in photoshop. so i have the artistic aspect of using the 35mm camera which i prefer and then modern editing as i'm poor and i don't think my parents would approve of me making an unventilated dark room in their home. Anyway oldschool with the newshcool here it is let me know what you think love it, hate it, what you like, what you would change etc.
anyway my laundry is done now so it's off to bed goodnight internet world

Big News

So i've actually got news for once wow! So First I got a job finally wow ahhh! it's a really funny story though because i wasn't even trying to get it. i'll explain, so my brother wanted to go to this group interview thing at coldstone but needed a ride so i took him being the nice brother i am and while i was there i decided you know what i'm just going to join this group interview. So i did that and there was a total of 53 yes 53! other people, we went around and said our names and something to remember us by and i said that i scooped ice cream like unto a god. after we did that we went around and did a talent i sang a snippet of marvin gaye's lets get it on. Anyway long story short...ish i got the job! The training day was crazy because there were 8 of us all training at the same time but i'm excited to start for real which i will do on the 1st wow so soon!

Secondly i started taking a film photography class which i freaking love, i love having artsy classes it just lets me release my creative artsy side and basically my whole schedule is art classes so in my spare time i've been making a sculpture with a repurposed combination lock, when i finish it i'll put pictures up, then little doodles here  and there maybe i'll put some up i don't know. they're on my facebook already. but anyways with the film class i love it because i just love photography and i developed my first roll of film today and the negatives turned out stupendous! It's really scary not seeing your photos right away but man they were worth the wait. Working in the little bag was not as hard as i thought it would be, maybe i would make an ok blind person... hmmm... though i almost cut my finger off so maybe not. i'll probably throw some prints on here when i actually get them so be excited for that anyway i think thats all the news so maybe it's not that big but it's big for me :)
Thanks for your interest or disinterest
-yours truly a closet "artist"