So i have no idea why i am this way but i always have been for as long as i can remember but i can't seem to stop doing it. I'll get either a question or something like that stuck in my head and i just have to know the answer. with some aspects in life it's really helped. i know more about sharks, and planets, and the mayan calendar than i would ever need to know because i had those questions in my mind and just pushed and pushed for the answer. it's helped and hurt religiously i've been confused about something and just search for answers sometimes too hastily and have hindered progression. in relationships i've pushed people away because i just have to know something and it sucks because i try not to dwell on things but i know i do and yeah. I just wish i could turn this part of me off but i've never been able to and i don't really even know what it is but it always bugs me. even when it's helpful it bugs me, if i'm at dinner or a movie or something and something comes up that i don't know what it is or how it applies i have to look it up and i have to learn about it. having a smart phone has made this worse because now as soon as something comes up i can just pull it out and look it up. even if i try not too it drives me crazy knowing i have the answers to my questions in my pocket. Lately though it's been especially bad i don't know why though but its really getting to me :( i don't know that i've ever told anyone about this. maybe i have and have just forgottten but i needed to get it out because it's just really bugging me. i don't know if its gotten worse because there is a huge change coming in my life or what but its just bleh.
some examples just from today. I had to learn more about the isolationist theory because it came up on a documentary, i had to learn more about the ancient astronaut theory, i had to learn how they make tea bags and what it means when they say naturally oxidized, and of course i had to read over 15 articles about the debates last night which lead to reading about what the definition of what a small business is. i bugged my friend about something i knew she'd tell me later, and i had to learn about all the specs of the ipad mini and its competitors. (i don't even care about taplets!!!!) is this some form of ocd?!